Earlier today, Madonna brilliantly took the bloom off Hydrangeagate with a video “love letter” to the loathesome flower. Of course, Her Madgesty couldn’t resist sticking a well-timed thorn in her melodramatic, sepia-toned apology.

Let’s welcome back the Madonna we all love, shall we? The mischievous Material Girl, missing for some time, who knows how to work the publicity machine like no one else. This is the woman, after all, who once declared, “Absolutely no regrets,” as my pal Popsessed so wisely reminded us. And she did author The English Roses, tipping her hand as to where her real floral allegiances lie.

Which thorn in her side should Madonna take down next? Probably those film critics panning her second turn in the director’s seat, W.E.